Thoughts on Vegetarianism

On the first date with the boyfriend, we went for sushi, and he sat down and told me that he’s vegetarian. I’ve never dated a vegetarian before so I freaked out wondering what the etiquette is and ended up ordering the same veggie sushi set as him, even though I love fish based sushi so very much.

As we got to know each other more, and when it was obvious that we would end up together, I made the decision to be vegetarian when I am around him – if I was the veggie one, I would think it gross to kiss someone who had just eaten a load of meat, and also I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable so it just made sense to me. What’s more, at home I rarely buy meat and the only time I eat it normally is when I’m out for a burger or some German food.

Since making this decision, I’ve seen food in a new light. Checking food labels all the time is kinda a hassle and finding that things I thought were clean actually having animal products in them makes me sad – things like Worcestershire Sauce and kimchi. I’d say that overall, Frankfurt is pretty good with vegetarians but still sometimes there are places with only one or two options. That kinda sucks too, especially when I’m restricted by my gluten allergy as well.

But when we cook together, it’s amazing. I’ve learnt that there are two types of vegetarian food – one type that pretends to be meat with all the fake mince and fake bacon and whatnot, and the other type that is just meatless by nature. He’s been teaching me lots about cooking the second type of food, though when I cook for myself I still like a good slab of pineapple curry flavoured tofu to replace the chicken I would have had otherwise.

I enjoy this new way of eating and I don’t feel like it’s a negative choice, or that he is forcing me to do this. However, I have been surprised by some people’s reactions to this small change. People turn their noses up at food I’ve chosen because it has no meat in it, even when it’s still veyr yummy. In this day and age where I can go to a bakery in Germany and get gluten free bread and where there are whole supermarkets dedicated to people who have special diets (Denn’s… you are heaven!), it should go without saying that you can live as vegetarian and still really enjoy food. But it seems that even now people sometimes treat vegetarians like they are just being that way to be difficult. It’s pretty shocking, really.

The only worry I have is that some day, I’d like to take the boyfriend to Japan and show him my “hometown” and all the places I used to go – Japan uses fish stock in pretty much EVERYTHING. So it will be a challenge like no other. But we’ll see. Maybe it’ll still be do-able…

Mangetsu Japanese Restaurant

There was a time when every other week someone was arranging a trip to Mangetsu but it seems that it’s not really the flavour of the month anymore, and I’d like to bring it back.

Mangetsu is situated up near the messe fair hall and is a short tram ride away from the main station. It’s one of the few places in Frankfurt where you step inside the door and feel like you’ve been transported right to Japan – there’s even Japanese tv showing and a whole bookcase of manga I’m itching to dive into.

The staff can range from quite polite to “wow, she’s pretty rude!” but the food is excellent, and makes up for it. You can find your typical “izakaya” food but I went with some girlfriends for sushi the other week and that was some of the best sushi I’ve had in Frankfurt yet. Above is the “mika getsu” set which was around 15 euros if I remember rightly.

Mangetsu is always my first recommendation when people are asking for real Japanese food in Frankfurt.

You can find Mangetsu at

Varrentrappstr. 57
60486 Frankfurt am Main

 

Queuing

This week Dunkin’ Donuts opened in Frankfurt. My wonderful colleague queued up before work and brought us a big box of brightly coloured doughnuts. This whole concept brought me a bit of Japan-nostalgia since the city I lived in, Ise, had special mochi sweets on sale on the first day of every month. People would go down to the old district at 4am and queue up for some of these rare sweets.

My friends always went and I scoffed at them, but towards the end of my time in Japan I realised I’d regret it if I didn’t start going to buy these mochi. I went about 3 or 4 times in the end and it was really amazing because I could zip through a completely empty city on my moped at 4am, and then when we got to the line we always met really great people which made the (often) 2 hour wait completely worth it. Then after buying the mochi we’d queue again (above) for the special breakfast that was available at the restaurant next door. That breakfast was one of the best I’ve ever had. Hmm… I wonder if I have a photo of that too…

Look what I found!

But thinking about queuing up for stuff in Japan and in Frankfurt got me thinking about queuing up in general. You may think this is not so much a topic interesting enough to blog about but actually, as a British person, I think about queuing a lot. These crazy 3 hour long queues are not a thing for me. In Japan they will queue for anything, and they have NO limit to their patience. If it says in a magazine that such-and-such a place has good cakes, they will wait for 3 hours to try one – even if they know the article is sponsored and probably a lie. At any given time on Japanese tv there will be crazy tv shows where minor celebrities go to some restaurant in some town and try some food, announce that it’s the softest, juiciest  tastiest thing they have ever eaten and afterwards that restaurant won’t be able to move for customers – they will be spending the whole day queuing outside to taste this soft juicy tasty thing. (Please click on the “crazy tv shows” link to watch the video… it’s SUCH a typical Japanese tv show…)

For me, I think my limit would be 40 minutes. When Krispy Kremes opened in Osaka I did wait for 40 minutes to get some (and boy were they worth it…) but when it opened in Nagoya I saw people waiting for 4 hours and said to my friend that they could go to the airport, fly to Korea (where they have had Krispy Kremes for years), walk into a shop and buy doughnuts, fly back and they would still beat the people in the queue.

As an expat, queue methods can also be pretty confusing. In Japan they have pretty much the same queuing system as in Britain, but with one added rule – old women can break all the rules and it’s ok. I remember this one time when I was in Japan I went to an illuminations event. When it was over, the route back to the exit was ridiculously crowded and so we had to wait in a long crowd-queue to get out. I was waiting patiently with everyone else until these old ladies started jabbing me in the stomach to get past me. They really had no shame. They will also push in front of you when you’re waiting for a bus or train as well. I’d gladly let elderly people through but I get annoyed when they are rude about it.

Here in Germany there is a slightly different queue style. Where in the UK we form one line that feeds multiple cashiers in a shop, in Germany they form one like per cashier. This means that you can easily be served first if you just join the right queue. German people are a lot less angry at people who push in, as well. In Britain, we are REALLY angry when people push in. But most of the time we just tut and glare and do no more. A few times I have had people ignore the line and wait at the side of the counter to push in but where German queuers are ok with this, German shop staff are thankfully strict.

Where German people are TERRIBLE, though isn’t technically a queue but it’s a related form of waiting; when the train is coming into a station and people need to get out. Instead of waiting to see who else is getting out, each person assumes automatically that they will be the only person and as soon as the platform is in sight, they will push to get to the front of the door so that they can be the person to press the button and exit the train first. And then people rarely let you off the train before they cram on it. I guess German people just get stuff done.

I find peoples’ queuing styles say a lot about their culture and way of life. British people get angry a lot but don’t say anything out right. German people are harsh and abrupt but get what they want in the end.

How does queuing happen where you’re from?

Thoughts about Bravery

Me, as a 20 year old girl ready to take on Japan without fear. 

I’ve been having problems with my confidence recently. People who know me will see me as outgoing and someone who is everywhere at once, doing all the meetups and friends with everyone. But I used to be so much more. I think there’s a better word for it, but I used to be brave when I was younger. I used to do a lot of drama, I loved to be on stage and when I went to Japan to study I didn’t care if my Japanese was good or not, I just used it.

But I have found that I’m not that person anymore, I seem to have lost that side of me. My German friends constantly ask me to speak in German with them… I guess I could and it would be ok but there’s an element of “losing face” involved that’s just too risky… or scary for me. Every German I know speaks amazing English. It would just be embarrassing to let them see just how little German I speak. And also when we speak in English we can have amazing conversations but if we spoke in German we’d be reduced to boring, simple stuff. But I can’t ever remember feeling this way with Japanese. Maybe it’s because I was a cocky little shit, but this time round I just can’t get the German out, even though I know my friends won’t judge me and I know it’ll only make my German better.

I finished the advanced improv course a few weeks ago and I noticed in that area too I’d become a lot more withdrawn. I love improv – I love being on stage. When I was younger I used to do SO much theatre; regular stuff, improv contests, I was a dame in the village panto (meaning I was 16 year old girl pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman…) and I even entered a solo theatre contest in a division 2 years older than my age (and still won). I was this girl, but now I am not, and I think it’s holding me back.

When you’re an expat or just a regular language learner, I think you need to be super outgoing to be able to get the most out of your life in your adoptive country. Langauge-wise it’s pretty straight forward – you need to be brave enough to just go for it and you’ll get the hang of the language. As an expat it’s best if you just throw yourself into various situations and go to random meetups because you never know what will happen. Of course, it’s also ok to not be outgoing and an expat, but you won’t have as many crazy stories to tell your grandchildren

I guess this lack of bravery has been bugging me for a while. I guess various things happened and I lost the drive I used to have to be like this, but I’m taking steps to get it back. Improv helps me a lot, but I’m *thinking* of maybe dabbling in stand-up comedy. A comedian friend of mine who I admire very much came over the other week so I could road test my routine on him but I just clammed up. I’d like to work myself to the stage where I’m able to do this – even if I’m not funny I think the experience will be good for me.

During the first week of April I’m going to do a German homestay. It’ll be in Frankfurt so I’m not going far at all, but I’m actually really nervous about it. I have no idea where the 16 year old who went off to Japan to do homestays is, but she’s not here right now. I feel nervous about speaking German to someone other than the few people I share my terrible skills with and I feel nervous that it’ll be a whole week of me and the teacher – her teaching me in intensive lessons during the day and cooking and hanging out together in the evenings. This all seems very daunting to me.

But I think once I’ve taken these steps I’ll feel a lot better about myself, so I need to take them. Do you take steps to put yourself in different and daunting situations?

Glad to be Born in the UK?

Last week I came across a wonderful link listing reasons why Japanese people felt glad to be born in Japan. The number one answer was that there are 4 seasons in Japan, which is a common joke within people who have lived in Japan. When Japanese people say this, they mean that there are 4 distinct seasons and that they enjoy each one to the fullest. I must admit, I have never experienced such amazing Autumns as I did in Japan, but that doesn’t mean that other countries don’t have the same (last Autumn was also pretty awesome, for example). Other answers are also typically “Japanese”, like “drinkable tap water” at number 2. A lot of Japanese people believe that their stomachs are different to those of non-Japanese people and refuse to drink tap-water outside of Japan,  as I did in India. On a side note, when I was at uni in Liverpool I noticed that the tap water there tasted horrible, but it’s pretty nice in my hometown of Bury St Edmunds. In Frankfurt, too, the water is pretty good, but has a lot of stuff in it that isn’t so good for your hair.

The list got me thinking about what makes me feel glad to have been born in the UK, and even what makes me glad to be in Germany. When I came back from studying in Japan, my mum told me that I’d become racist against my own people as I was just tired of how tired and unhealthy British people look, but really I was just missing Japan. Here in Germany I shock people by saying that I would much prefer to be here right now than in the UK, but rather than me being “racist” against the UK, Germany just offers a lot more for me than I could get back home.

ANYWAY I think I’d like to make two short lists – one for the UK and one in another post for Germany. If you’d like to make your own lists then please let me know in the comments section!

Reasons to be glad to be born in the UK -

1. The NHS.

When I was in Japan every time I got sick I felt that I was being forced to have extras even though I didn’t need them, just to bump up the price. While it’s the opposite in the UK and you may have hospitals being stingy with you, I have never had this experience personally and neither has anyone I know. I had extensive braces (think along these lines…) and it was all free. There’s no worrying about being able to afford these kinds of things, and it’s all available to everyone.

2. The food.

Yes, I can hear you laughing. Seriously, British food is really great. I mean, we’re not the fattest people in Europe for nothing, right? Cornish pasties are pretty much the yummiest things in the world. I miss Sunday roasts so much, but they take so much effort to cook for just one person. On the healthier end of the spectrum, there are shops like Eat which sell amazing healthy options at lunchtime. Supermarkets are full of healthier options and inspiration for better eating with locally sourced (not to be confused with locally horsed… fnar fnar…) items. This is something I’ve not experienced in either Japan or Germany. And if you have a bit of a sweet tooth, an American friend recently begged me to bring him back “some of those sugar coated gummies you guys have… fruit pasTILLES?” So apparently our sweets are pretty awesome, too!

3. Education.

There is a lot wrong with the British education system, least of all that your experience depends greatly on where you live. You can be in the catchment area for the best school around but someone a mile down the road is in the catchment area for an under-achieving school. We may not get the best scores on tests, or create the brightest children but what our education system does is teach children how to THINK. Again, I wasn’t really aware of this until I went to Japan and saw that everything is multiple choice in tests there. I explained to the teachers that in the UK even maths and science questions come in essay format – why won’t this experiment work? How would you improve on it next time? – there are so many ways in which we are asked to think and not regurgitate. So many times I asked my Japanese students to give their opinions, and every time it failed. When I was back home last, my youngest sister who is in year 10 right now was writing a complex essay in French on her thoughts about smoking. Britain creates independent thinkers, young people who go out and get what they want, people who think of ways to make things better. And with the bleak job prospects right now, we need these kinds of people.

4. It’s easier to “settle down” there.

I look back at people I went to school with and I see them buying houses and securing a good life for themselves. I look back at myself, living in a flatshare drowning rent money each month that won’t go towards anything. I would *love* to buy myself a house right now. To put money on a mortgage and work on a home, not a place to stay. But Germany (or Frankfurt at least) is a “rent for life” kind of place. And don’t even let me get started on Japan, where it’s impossible to even rent if you’re not a Japanese male. They will often turn away people for not being Japanese, from being a solo female and for other ridiculous reasons. When I left Japan I said I’d love to go back when I’m retired and live in a lovely old wooden Japanese house. I’d still like to do this if I could. But I doubt they’d let me.

5. British people are awesome.

Recently I’ve been feeling really sad about British people in general, mainly because I keep on making the mistake of listening to the Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2 every day, which is the audio version of The Daily Mail. There is SO MUCH racism on there that I decided to not put the BBC in this list. But I was speaking with some people who had studied in the UK and they reminded me how friendly people are there. If you are on your own, you can just go to a pub and you’ll have friends in minutes. People will strike up conversations with you on the London Underground. People will be concerned for your safety even though they are complete strangers. Sure there is a cesspool of people who don’t want any foreigners “coming in and stealing our jobs” but the majority of British people love Britain being so multicultural and welcome visitors and long-term stayers alike. We will even complain along with you when you moan about the UK. The friendliness of British people is something that surprises me every time I go home – and I am not the only one who has this as we talk about this regularly here.

So please let me know what reasons you have to be proud to be from where you are from! I’m really looking forward to comparing answers!

Speed Dating Abroad (ramble-tasic)

This may turn out to be a rambly post. But let’s just stick with it. It may lead to somewhere nice.

About a month ago, I got a Facebook invite to a speed dating event in Frankfurt. I signed up thinking it would be a laugh but nothing more serious than that. The day came up and I picked out an outfit that was a little sexier (… or so I hope…) than I’d normally wear and went off to the event, which was held in a cookie shop.

When I arrived, I noticed the people there were a lot older. And not really my type. But I thought it would be a good way to meet new people. I took the welcome drink, sat down and started talking.

In through the door came a couple. Hmm… that’s weird. Why would a couple come to speed dating? Then another couple came in. The hostess also commented on how weird it was that there were couples. Was this like a swingers’ party or something?

So time went on and there was very little speed dating happening. I settled down into a conversation with a lovely American girl and her somewhat grumpy German boyfriend and asked them “but.. don’t you think it’s weird you two coming to a speed dating thing together?” To which they freaked out, not thinking it was speed dating. I checked my Facebook event list and sure enough, the event said nothing about speed dating. But… I could have sworn it was… Am I going crazy?

After about 40 minutes more, I realised that even without being a speed dating thing, the people weren’t really the kind of people I’d click with, though they were all really lovely and interesting. I went off down the road for a pint with my friends who were sat waiting for me.

I’ve been to a (real) speed dating before, in Japan. Back in the days when I thought a boyfriend would cure my loneliness, I went to an event at a snack bar. Snack bars are Japanese inventions, where men pay way too much money to visit, in order to be flirted at by the supposedly beautiful bar staff there. The one in my town was frequented a lot by the Americans I was friends with, and so I went along with them a few times and got to know the staff a bit. They liked having us around because it made their bar look more stylish. I just liked speaking in Japanese and potentially making new friends.

The speed dating event they had there was pretty fun, actually. An hour before, we had a “girls party” where the mama would do our makeup and hair. Then the boys would arrive and we would go through the “speed dating” part of the night, then group off and play a few party games.

The two American lads were pretty popular, I think, and one may have even gotten lucky that night. I was not so popular. At the time, a new bar had opened up in the town and one of the barmen was a serious crush of mine. He remains to be quite possibly the most beautiful human being to walk the planet, in my eyes at least. To Japanese girls, he is pretty plain, but this is normal since Western ideas of beauty and Japanese ideas of the same are pretty much polar opposite. That’s why you can have a bi-racial couple where Western onlookers will comment on how ugly the Western person is and how the Asian person is out of their league, where Asian onlookers will be saying the exact same thing about the Asian of the couple.

But he was there at the event (not in any of the photos so stop looking!!) and so I was really excited.

By the end of the night, some of the people were pretty drunk. Mama tiptoed up to me and said “psst! That guy over there! He picked you as his favourite!” So I went over to said guy. He was drunk as a fart. Slowly melting into his drink. We spoke for a while, he was pretty cute, but red as a tomato (as Japanese people are when they’re drunk) and talking jibberish. We swapped numbers because I didn’t have the heart to tell him no when he asked.

A few months later, after him being super sweet to me non-stop, we started dating. Me having a boyfriend didn’t cure my loneliness. The end.

What happened to the barman? Well everyone under the sun knew I had a crush on him since I went all red whenever he was about… and also there was that one time I drunkenly serenaded him with a pretty sweet song at their bar. Oh youth.

Have you ever done speed dating? Let’s get some comments rolling!

Expat Blogs

I LOVE the blogging community and how I can enjoy pockets of awesome people who are expats, travellers, German-livers and many more.

And that’s why I’m so happy that Expats Blog have chosen to feature me in an interview this week! I just love sharing my experiences and helping others who want to follow my footsteps, so I’m so happy to be on their site!

They have a super awesome website with so much information for people who live – or are thinking of living – abroad, so go and check it out if that’s up your alley!

Notes on Dating in Japan

Dating as an expat is hard. You’ll probably have some kind of language barrier, and even if you speak the local language, you need to find someone who is willing to date outside their culture (assuming you are dating a local). In Japan, the focus is on dating the locals. I don’t even need to touch on the type of people who say they “only date Japanese” – these people are lame and also loads of other blogs who talk for pages about it. I just thought I’d have a nice frank post about dating as a foreigner, in Japan.

Of course, the first thing when talking about dating in Japan is that people think it’s easy for western guys to get girls and impossible for western girls to get guys. When I lived in Japan, I knew many really amazing western guys who were pretty unlucky in love. They were handsome and gentlemanly but it just wasn’t happening. I also know a fair few women out in Japan with Japanese boyfriends and husbands, and all are pretty happy. I myself have dated 2 J-guys on the long term and a handful of awkward mini relationships with guys that it just didn’t work out with.

So, how do you get a boy/girlfriend in Japan? The key, as with any situation is that you concentrate on having fun – not on finding the one. It took me a long time to realise this. I’d go to events and things and focus on which guys I thought I had a chance with. But you need to just do your thing, meet people, make friends, and then everything will fall into place.

It’s hard when you’re an expat because you feel homesick sometimes, and there are things you don’t understand, and you feel lonely, too. You start to think that getting a boy/girlfriend will solve everything for you. You’d have someone to be with all the time, and if they are a local, they can explain the culture and the language to you, too! I thought that in Japan, so went on a wild hunt to get a guy. I did – a wonderful guy who was kind and sweet and good looking. But it wasn’t right. I wasn’t dating him for the right reasons – just for the sake of it. I broke it off with him far too late, and broke his heart too. I’m really ashamed of that.

BUT if you did really want a boy/girlfriend in Japan, here are a few ways to find one -

1. Get out! Someone once told me that when you live in Japan, just get out the house. Even if it’s to buy an apple. Those were his words. And I think it’s true. You’re not going to learn the language or make friends by sitting at home at your kotatsu. Go to events, go to that lame looking international festival those sweet old ladies wanted you to go to. Go talk to the guy at the counter at the combini. GO!

2. Find a bar – not a gaijin bar, a local bar – and keep going there until you become a local. I did this with a bar in Ise, and made loads of friends there. I made the mistake of telling other foreigners about this amazing bar I found and soon enough EVERYONE was there. But if you go to a mainly Japanese bar, you can practise your Japanese and you’ll be rare in your gaijin-ness so it’s easy to make friends (and potentially pick up a date).

3. Mixi.jp is a Japanese social network… but you need a Japanese mobile phone, and an invite, to join. If you have an account, you can join the community of wherever you live in Japan and start interacting with the people there. A word of warning, especially for the girls out there – when I used this, and got speaking with a guy, the next stage of the relationship seemed to be “let’s go for a drive”. No one seemed to understand that I will not get into a car with a stranger. Japanese guys found it highly annoying that I wouldn’t just lighten up and get in a car with them. But be careful – you never know what might happen. Play it safe, people!

4. Go to a gokon! Gokon are Japanese dating parties. Usually you’ll have a set number of boys and girls, and you will go to a Japanese restaurant like an izakaya together. You’d usually swap phone numbers with the person you like and then take it from there. I went to a few of these. I found them really funny. I never was successful from them, though.

I want to do a German post similar to this, but with more of an emphasis on meeting people as opposed to boy/girlfriends. But if you have any tips for the boys and girls out there on how to find love in Japan, let me know!

Things I Keep Close

 

When I am at home, I spend most of my time at my desk. I eat there (like a loser), do makeup there, blog there… so I like to keep this area full of things that keep me going. Things and people that are important to me. I thought I’d share some of these things with you.

Photos – I have a lot of them. I like to have the people who have touched my life close to me. My friends from school, exchange student friends in Japan, my friends from when I worked in Japan, and my english teacher coworkers from the school I taught at. These people are all so important to me.

 

I also have a photo of myself as a maiko! The postcard to the left was actually bought after I dressed up that day, so the similarity is a coincidence. It was an amazing day that I spent with some friends dressing up, but it’s there to remind me to keep my “excited spirit” about me. It may no be cool to dress up as a maiko, and it may be “weeaboo”-like, but I don’t care. I frickin’ love geisha and maiko and all that jazz. And it was awesome being a maiko for the day.

 

The map on the right was given to me when I left Ise. I think of it as much as my hometown as I do Bury St Emunds. On the left is the wall where I have all the messages my students wrote me when I let Japan. I have one board for each class I taught. They have such wonderful comments on them, whenever I feel like I’m not doing well in general, I like to read through them and remember that I am a great person and that I made a difference in their lives. I miss my students so much.

 

This last one is also from an old student of mine. This sweet little girl who used to make a beeline for me every day drew this lovely picture of me. I used to have a necklace with a fish on it, and she’d come up and play with it, so she drew it in the picture.

What things do you keep near you in your home?

 

My Foot Ordeal – German Healthcare

Ever since Halloween, my right foot has been really hurting. In a small space at the base of the toe next to my little toe there has been an agonising pain that sometimes comes avec a bruise, sometimes with swelling. Thinking I’d just pulled a muscle in my foot, and since it’s not sore every day, I didn’t think I needed to go to get it seen to.

After about two weeks, I woke up and found it really hard to walk on my foot so I thought the time had come – I must go see the doctor. I have a really nice GP that’s pretty much opposite my apartment, and they speak English too (the female doctor’s son is in Cambridge so we often talk about that, and she tells me every time I go about how terrible the NHS is and how her son always comes home to Frankfurt every time he is sick.)

So, here’s the first lesson about German healthcare – you have your private healthcare plan which you pay into every month, but every quarter, if you go to see the GP, you have to remember to take 10 euros in cash to pay. I don’t know what this is, or why it is. But it is. I have forgotten my 10 euros a few times. Once, they sent a letter to my house reminding me to pay it, and I had to do a bank transfer online. Other times, they just get me to pay it the next time I’m there. But it needs to be paid.

So my GP tells me I need to go see the orthopedic doctors the other side of town. I confirmed with her that in these cases, one must go to the GP first and not just straight to the specialist and she said that that was correct. It would be nice to cut out the middle man, but I guess it’s better this way. In Japan, you’d just go to the specialist. I don’t think they even have GPs there.. maybe general doctors, but no one who refers you as they do in Germany (or in the UK).

It is a massive white whine, but I was quite put out that I spent more than 3 hours waiting around in the doctors. I waited, then I was taken to a room where I spoke with a nurse, then waited in the room for the doctor, then waited in the waiting room again, then had my x-ray, then waited, then spoke with the nurse and then spoke with the doctor.

It’s a massive white whine because in the UK, this process would have taken 3 weeks, not 3 hours. I should have been happy, but I was grumpy. Sat looking at an x-ray of my own foot for 20 minutes, when the doctor came in I said about how my foot didn’t look broken as I’d feared. “Are you an expert?” he asked me. “Uhm… no…” “What is your job?” “Uhm… Japanese translator…”

He stared at the screen, enlarged the picture, and announced that my foot was not broken.

He made some vague gestures and talked about how his English wasn’t so good and that he didn’t know the technical term, but I had “flat feet”.

.. Flat feet.

All this pain, is because my feet are flat.

I looked down at my prized 10 euro Primark shoes – prized because it’s been a year since I bought them and they are still going strong. I knew in my heart how I had wrecked my feet. He turned to me again with a massive needle in his hand. While the nurse pinned me down and stroked my head, he stuck that needle in my foot and put what felt to be a burning acid in my foot.

My remedie is shoe insoles, which are (for 30 euros) being made specially for my feet.

On the whole, I like the German medical system. It works. There is no faffing around like in the UK, and I trust them not to rip me off with things I don’t need like in Japan. It’s one of the many things that makes me think that Germany is by far the best place to live right now.